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Questions to Ask LGBTQ+ Friends: Building Deeper Connections Through Understanding
Navigating friendships with people from diverse backgrounds enriches our lives immeasurably. For those wanting to deepen their relationships with LGBTQ+ friends, understanding and showing genuine interest goes a long way. This comprehensive guide provides a wealth of insightful questions to spark meaningful conversations, foster empathy, and build stronger bonds. We'll move beyond surface-level chatter and explore topics that demonstrate genuine care and respect, helping you become a better ally and friend. This isn't just about asking questions; it's about actively listening and learning. We'll also address potential pitfalls and offer guidance on how to approach sensitive topics with grace and consideration. Prepare to embark on a journey of understanding and connection.
Understanding Their Experiences: Beyond the Labels
One of the most impactful ways to connect with your LGBTQ+ friends is to understand their unique experiences. Avoid assumptions and focus on their individual journeys.
"What's your favorite thing about being part of the LGBTQ+ community?" This opens the door for positive and affirming conversations, focusing on the joys and strengths of the community.
"What are some challenges you've faced as an LGBTQ+ person?" This shows your willingness to acknowledge the struggles many face and creates space for open and honest dialogue. Be prepared to listen empathetically without offering unsolicited advice.
"How has your identity shaped your perspective on life?" This allows them to share their personal growth and how their identity has influenced their worldview. It fosters a deeper understanding of their values and beliefs.
"Can you tell me about a time when you felt particularly proud of your identity?" This shifts the focus to positive experiences and celebrates their strength and resilience.
"What does allyship mean to you?" This question invites reflection on the importance of support and allows you to learn how you can better support them.
Respecting Their Boundaries and Preferences: Navigating Sensitive Topics
It's crucial to approach sensitive topics with respect and awareness of their personal boundaries. Always prioritize their comfort and avoid pushing them to share more than they're willing to.
"Is there anything you'd prefer not to talk about?" This demonstrates respect for their autonomy and sets a safe space for communication.
"What pronouns do you use, and is there anything else I should know to be respectful?" This shows that you value their identity and are committed to using inclusive language.
"How can I be a better ally to you?" This is an open invitation for feedback and demonstrates your commitment to continuous learning and improvement.
"What are some resources that you find helpful or informative about LGBTQ+ issues?" This shows you are willing to learn more and actively participate in their community.
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable or supported?" This demonstrates your willingness to go the extra mile to ensure they feel safe and valued.
Celebrating Their Achievements and Supporting Their Goals
Show your genuine interest in their lives beyond their identity. Celebrate their accomplishments and offer support for their ambitions.
"What are you most proud of accomplishing recently?" This encourages them to share their achievements and personal milestones.
"What are your goals for the future, both personally and professionally?" This demonstrates your interest in their aspirations and provides an opportunity to offer support.
"What are your hobbies and interests outside of work/school?" This helps you learn more about their personality and interests beyond their identity.
"What's something you're passionate about?" This allows them to express their values and beliefs through their passions.
"How can I best support you in pursuing your goals?" This offers practical support and demonstrates your commitment to their success.
Beyond the Questions: Active Listening and Empathy
Asking insightful questions is only half the battle. Active listening and empathy are essential for building strong, meaningful connections. Pay attention to their body language, listen without interrupting, and reflect back what you've heard to show that you're understanding. Avoid offering unsolicited advice unless specifically asked for. Emphasize your support and let them know you're there for them, regardless of the topic.
Name of Ebook: Building Bridges: A Guide to Deeper Connections with LGBTQ+ Friends
Contents:
Introduction: The importance of understanding and building strong relationships with LGBTQ+ friends.
Chapter 1: Understanding Their Experiences: Questions to understand their unique journeys and challenges.
Chapter 2: Respecting Boundaries and Preferences: Navigating sensitive topics with grace and consideration.
Chapter 3: Celebrating Achievements and Supporting Goals: Showcasing genuine interest in their lives beyond their identity.
Chapter 4: Active Listening and Empathy: The importance of genuine connection beyond questions.
Conclusion: Reinforcing the importance of building strong and inclusive friendships.
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(Each Chapter would then be expanded upon, mirroring the content already provided in the article above. This would create a full ebook, with each chapter elaborating on the points outlined.)
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FAQs
1. Is it okay to ask about someone's coming out story? Only if they offer to share it; don't pressure them.
2. How do I avoid using offensive language? Stay updated on inclusive language and terminology.
3. What if I make a mistake? Apologize sincerely and learn from it.
4. Should I always avoid discussing sexuality and gender? No, but approach it with sensitivity and respect.
5. How can I educate myself more about LGBTQ+ issues? Read books, articles, and follow LGBTQ+ organizations.
6. Is it okay to ask about their partner or family? Only if it feels appropriate within the context of your relationship.
7. What if my friend doesn't want to talk about their identity? Respect their boundaries and avoid pushing them.
8. How can I support LGBTQ+ youth? Be an ally and advocate for their rights and well-being.
9. Where can I find more resources on building inclusive friendships? Search for LGBTQ+ organizations and support groups online.
Related Articles:
1. Understanding LGBTQ+ Terminology: A glossary of common terms and their meanings.
2. Allyship 101: How to Be a Better Ally: Practical tips and advice for supporting the LGBTQ+ community.
3. Common Misconceptions About LGBTQ+ People: Debunking myths and stereotypes.
4. The Importance of Inclusive Language: How to use language that respects and affirms LGBTQ+ individuals.
5. LGBTQ+ History and Milestones: A timeline of important events and achievements.
6. Resources for LGBTQ+ Mental Health Support: A guide to finding professional help.
7. Celebrating Pride Month: Events and Activities: A guide to participating in Pride celebrations.
8. LGBTQ+ Representation in Media: A look at progress and challenges in media portrayals.
9. Building Safe and Inclusive Communities for LGBTQ+ Individuals: A discussion on community building and support.
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Messy Grace Caleb Kaltenbach, 2015-10-20 Sometimes, grace gets messy. Caleb Kaltenbach was raised by LGBT parents, marched in gay pride parades as a youngster, and experienced firsthand the hatred and bitterness of some Christians toward his family. But then Caleb surprised everyone, including himself, by becoming a Christian…and a pastor. Very few issues in Christianity are as divisive as the acceptance of the LGBT community in the church. As a pastor and as a person with beloved family members living a gay lifestyle, Caleb had to face this issue with courage and grace. Messy Grace shows us that Jesus’s command to “love your neighbor as yourself” doesn’t have an exception clause for a gay “neighbor”—or for that matter, any other “neighbor” we might find it hard to relate to. Jesus was able to love these people and yet still hold on to his beliefs. So can you. Even when it’s messy. “Messy Grace is an important contribution to the conversation about sexual identity for churches and leaders. Caleb's story is surprising and unique, and he weaves it together compellingly. He states his views clearly, leaves room for disagreement, and champions love no matter where you are in this conversation.” —Jud Wilhite, Sr. Pastor, Central Christian Church |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Ask a Queer Chick Lindsay King-Miller, 2016-02-02 This guide to sex, love and life for girls who like girls is useful whether you’re a lady-dating veteran or still trying to come out to yourself. “Fresh and authentic…[King-Miller] combine[s] the ‘directness’ of Dan Savage with the ‘compassion and gentleness’ of Cheryl Strayed.”—BITCH magazine Seasoned advice columnist and queer chick Lindsay King Miller cuts through all of the bizarre conditioning imparted by parents, romantic comedies, and The L Word to help queer readers live authentic, safe, happy, sexy lives. With advice on every aspect of life as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer woman—from your first Pride to confronting discrimination in the workplace—there is guidance for some of the most major parts of living in a world that can vacillate between supportive and cruel. “Lindsay King-Miller is the cool, queer aunt you never had but always wanted—she is unrelentingly kind, totally funny, and no subject is off limits. Ask a Queer Chick is essential reading.”—Jolie Kerr, author of My Boyfriend Barfed In My Handbag...And Other Things You Can't Ask Martha |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Children of Virtue and Vengeance Tomi Adeyemi, 2019-12-03 An Instant #1 New York Times Bestseller A GOOD MORNING AMERICA Book Club Pick Adeyemi has sparked magic once again. —The New York Times After battling the impossible, Zélie and Amari have finally succeeded in bringing magic back to the land of Orïsha. But the ritual was more powerful than they could’ve imagined, reigniting the powers of not only the maji, but of nobles with magic ancestry, too. Now, Zélie struggles to unite the maji in an Orïsha where the enemy is just as powerful as they are. But when the monarchy and military unite to keep control of Orïsha, Zélie must fight to secure Amari's right to the throne and protect the new maji from the monarchy's wrath. With civil war looming on the horizon, Zélie finds herself at a breaking point: she must discover a way to bring the kingdom together or watch as Orïsha tears itself apart. Children of Virtue and Vengeance is the stunning sequel to Tomi Adeyemi's New York Times-bestselling debut Children of Blood and Bone, the first book in the Legacy of Orïsha trilogy. Praise for Children of Virtue and Vengeance: “Electrifying . . . With this second book Adeyemi brings a new maturity and depth to the series. Her characters are no longer underdogs on a hero’s journey to return magic―now they are leaders who are suffering from the consequences and trauma of their previous quest.” ―The New York Times “Like its predecessor, Children of Virtue and Vengeance is fast-paced and unafraid to ask tough questions about the cyclical nature of oppression and the systems that enforce it.” ―TIME “Relentless even beyond its finish, this is a sure-fire hit.” ―Booklist, starred review - The Complete Legacy of Orïsha Series: Children of Blood and Bone (Book 1) Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Book 2) Children of Anguish and Anarchy (Book 3) |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: The GayBCs M. L. Webb, 2019-10-08 A Moms Demand Action Book Club Pick “The perfect way to teach your kiddos LGBTQ+ vocab while celebrating the beauty of embracing yourself and others.”—KIWI Magazine A joyful celebration of LGBTQ+ vocabulary for kids of all ages! A playdate extravaganza transforms into a joyful celebration of friendship, love, and identity as four young friends sashay out of all the closets, dress up in a wardrobe fit for kings and queens, and discover the wonders of their imagination. In The GayBCs, M. L. Webb’s playful illustrations and lively poems delight in the beauty of embracing one’s truest self—from A is for Aro and Ace to F is for Family to T is for Trans. The GayBCs is a heartwarming and accessible gift to show kids and adults alike that every person is worthy of being celebrated. A bonus glossary offers opportunities for further discussion of complete terms, communities, and inclusive identities. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Children of Blood and Bone Tomi Adeyemi, 2018-03-06 Zľie Adebola remembers when the soil of Ors̐ha hummed with magic. Burners ignited flames, Tiders beckoned waves, and Zľie's Reaper mother summoned forth souls. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: The 2013 National School Climate Survey Kosciw Joseph, Emily Greytak, Neal Palmer, Madelyn Boesen, 2014-10-22 |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: When You Were Everything Ashley Woodfolk, 2021-03-09 For fans of Nina LaCour's We Are Okay and Adam Silvera's History Is All You Left Me, this heartfelt and ultimately uplifting novel follows one sixteen-year-old girl's friend breakup through two concurrent timelines--ultimately proving that even endings can lead to new beginnings. Stunning. --Nic Stone, bestselling author of Dear Martin and Odd One Out You can't rewrite the past, but you can always choose to start again. It's been twenty-seven days since Cleo and Layla's friendship imploded. Nearly a month since Cleo realized they'll never be besties again. Now Cleo wants to erase every memory, good or bad, that tethers her to her ex-best friend. But pretending Layla doesn't exist isn't as easy as Cleo hoped, especially after she's assigned to be Layla's tutor. Despite budding friendships with other classmates--and a raging crush on a gorgeous boy named Dom--Cleo's turbulent past with Layla comes back to haunt them both. Alternating between time lines of Then and Now, When You Were Everything blends past and present into an emotional story about the beauty of self-forgiveness, the promise of new beginnings, and the courage it takes to remain open to love. Breathtakingly beautiful....Woodfolk has a way of making words sing and burst with light. --Tiffany D. Jackson, award-winning author of Monday's Not Coming and Let Me Hear A Rhyme |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: The Ones We're Meant to Find Joan He, 2021-05-04 A New York Times Bestseller An Indie Bestseller Perfect for fans of Marie Lu and E. Lockhart, The Ones We're Meant to Find is a gripping and heartfelt YA sci-fi with mind-blowing twists. Set in a climate-ravaged future, Joan He's beautifully written novel follows the story of two sisters, separated by an ocean, desperately trying to find each other. Cee has been trapped on an abandoned island for three years without any recollection of how she arrived, or memories from her life prior. All she knows is that somewhere out there, beyond the horizon, she has a sister named Kay, and it’s up to Cee to cross the ocean and find her. In a world apart, 16-year-old STEM prodigy Kasey Mizuhara lives in an eco-city built for people who protected the planet?and now need protecting from it. With natural disasters on the rise due to climate change, eco-cities provide clean air, water, and shelter. Their residents, in exchange, must spend at least a third of their time in stasis pods, conducting business virtually whenever possible to reduce their environmental footprint. While Kasey, an introvert and loner, doesn’t mind the lifestyle, her sister Celia hated it. Popular and lovable, Celia much preferred the outside world. But no one could have predicted that Celia would take a boat out to sea, never to return. Now it’s been three months since Celia’s disappearance, and Kasey has given up hope. Logic says that her sister must be dead. But nevertheless, she decides to retrace Celia’s last steps. Where they’ll lead her, she does not know. Her sister was full of secrets. But Kasey has a secret of her own. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids Dannielle Owens-Reid, Kristin Russo, 2014-09-09 Written in an accessible Q&A format, here, finally, is the go-to resource for parents hoping to understand and communicate with their gay child. Through their LGBTQ-oriented site, the authors are uniquely experienced to answer parents' many questions and share insight and guidance on both emotional and practical topics. Filled with real-life experiences from gay kids and parents, this is the book gay kids want their parents to read. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Good News for a Change Matt Mikalatos, 2018-06-05 Imagine an atheist sending you regular prayer requests. Or your coworker grabbing you by the arm and asking you to stay late at work to talk about God just a bit longer. When Jesus talked about the Good News, people ran to him. We should expect the same response. Good News for a Change is about working together with Jesus to share the gospel in ways unique to each person’s situation. You will enjoy evangelism because it is a fun, deeply personal, community and person-oriented way to connect with people. You’ll be energized and focused on helping people discover why Jesus is good news for them. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: The Binding Bridget Collins, 2019-04-09 NATIONAL BESTSELLER A NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW EDITORS' CHOICE Proclaimed as “truly spellbinding,” a “great fable” that “functions as transporting romance” by the Guardian, the runaway #1 international bestseller A rich, gothic entertainment that explores what books have trapped inside them and reminds us of the power of storytelling. Spellbinding.” — TRACY CHEVALIER Imagine you could erase grief. Imagine you could remove pain. Imagine you could hide the darkest, most horrifying secret. Forever. Young Emmett Farmer is working in the fields when a strange letter arrives summoning him away from his family. He is to begin an apprenticeship as a Bookbinder—a vocation that arouses fear, superstition, and prejudice amongst their small community, but one neither he nor his parents can afford to refuse. For as long as he can recall, Emmett has been drawn to books, even though they are strictly forbidden. Bookbinding is a sacred calling, Seredith informs her new apprentice, and he is a binder born. Under the old woman’s watchful eye, Emmett learns to hand-craft the elegant leather-bound volumes. Within each one they will capture something unique and extraordinary: a memory. If there’s something you want to forget, a binder can help. If there’s something you need to erase, they can assist. Within the pages of the books they create, secrets are concealed and the past is locked away. In a vault under his mentor’s workshop rows upon rows of books are meticulously stored. But while Seredith is an artisan, there are others of their kind, avaricious and amoral tradesman who use their talents for dark ends—and just as Emmett begins to settle into his new circumstances, he makes an astonishing discovery: one of the books has his name on it. Soon, everything he thought he understood about his life will be dramatically rewritten. An unforgettable novel of enchantment, mystery, memory, and forbidden love, The Binding is a beautiful homage to the allure and life-changing power of books—and a reminder to us all that knowledge can be its own kind of magic. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: What Big Teeth Rose Szabo, 2021-02-02 A Strand February 2021 Book of the Month With a layered mystery, a haunting setting, and thrilling tension, What Big Teeth has an otherness to it that pulls you in and forces you to keep reading. —Tricia Levenseller, Publisher’s Weekly-bestselling author of The Shadows Between Us Eleanor Zarrin has been estranged from her wild family for years. When she flees boarding school after a horrifying incident, she goes to the only place she thinks is safe: the home she left behind. But when she gets there, she struggles to fit in with her monstrous relatives, who prowl the woods around the family estate and read fortunes in the guts of birds. Eleanor finds herself desperately trying to hold the family together—in order to save them all, Eleanor must learn to embrace her family of monsters and tame the darkness inside her. Rose Szabo's thrilling debut is a dark fantasy novel about a teen girl who returns home to her strange, wild family after years of estrangement, perfect for fans of Wilder Girls. This exquisitely terrifying and beautiful tale will sink its teeth into you and never let go. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook Anneliese A. Singh, 2018-02-02 How can you build unshakable confidence and resilience in a world still filled with ignorance, inequality, and discrimination? The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook will teach you how to challenge internalized negative messages, handle stress, build a community of support, and embrace your true self. Resilience is a key ingredient for psychological health and wellness. It’s what gives people the psychological strength to cope with everyday stress, as well as major setbacks. For many people, stressful events may include job loss, financial problems, illness, natural disasters, medical emergencies, divorce, or the death of a loved one. But if you are queer or gender non-conforming, life stresses may also include discrimination in housing and health care, employment barriers, homelessness, family rejection, physical attacks or threats, and general unfair treatment and oppression—all of which lead to overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness. So, how can you gain resilience in a society that is so often toxic and unwelcoming? In this important workbook, you’ll discover how to cultivate the key components of resilience: holding a positive view of yourself and your abilities; knowing your worth and cultivating a strong sense of self-esteem; effectively utilizing resources; being assertive and creating a support community; fostering hope and growth within yourself, and finding the strength to help others. Once you know how to tap into your personal resilience, you’ll have an unlimited well you can draw from to navigate everyday challenges. By learning to challenge internalized negative messages and remove obstacles from your life, you can build the resilience you need to embrace your truest self in an imperfect world. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Radical Joy for Hard Times Trebbe Johnson, 2018-09-25 In a time of uncertainty and devastation--from pandemics to environmental catastrophe--a call to action for finding beauty, creating art, and healing in community. When a beloved place is decimated by physical damage, many may hit the donate button or call their congressperson. But award-winning author Trebbe Johnson argues that we need new methods for coping with these losses and invites readers to reconsider what constitutes “worthwhile action.” She discusses real wounded places ranging from weapons-testing grounds at Eglin Air Force Base, to Appalachian mountain tops destroyed by mining. These stories, along with tools for community engagement—ceremony, vigil, apology, and the creation of art with on-site materials—show us how we can find beauty in these places and discover new sources of meaning and community. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Where the Light Fell Philip Yancey, 2023-03-14 In this searing meditation on the bonds of family and the allure of extremist faith, one of today’s most celebrated Christian writers recounts his unexpected journey from a strict fundamentalist upbringing to a life of compassion and grace—a revelatory memoir that “invites comparison to Hillbilly Elegy” (Publishers Weekly, starred review). “Searing, heartrending . . . This stunning tale reminds us that the only way to keep living is to ask God for the impossible: love, forgiveness, and hope.”—Kate Bowler, New York Times bestselling author of Everything Happens for a Reason Raised by an impoverished widow who earned room and board as a Bible teacher in 1950s Atlanta, Philip Yancey and his brother, Marshall, found ways to venture out beyond the confines of their eight-foot-wide trailer. But when Yancey was in college, he uncovered a shocking secret about his father’s death—a secret that began to illuminate the motivations that drove his mother to extreme, often hostile religious convictions and a belief that her sons had been ordained for a divine cause. Searching for answers, Yancey dives into his family origins, taking us on an evocative journey from the backwoods of the Bible Belt to the bustling streets of Philadelphia; from trailer parks to church sanctuaries; from family oddballs to fire-and-brimstone preachers and childhood awakenings through nature, music, and literature. In time, the weight of religious and family pressure sent both sons on opposite paths—one toward healing from the impact of what he calls a “toxic faith,” the other into a self-destructive spiral. Where the Light Fell is a gripping family narrative set against a turbulent time in post–World War II America, shaped by the collision of Southern fundamentalism with the mounting pressures of the civil rights movement and Sixties-era forces of social change. In piecing together his fragmented personal history and his search for redemption, Yancey gives testament to the enduring power of our hunger for truth and the possibility of faith rooted in grace instead of fear. “I truly believe this is the one book I was put on earth to write,” says Yancey. “So many of the strands from my childhood—racial hostility, political division, culture wars—have resurfaced in modern form. Looking back points me forward.” |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: The Medieval Crossbow ELLIS-GORMAN STUART, 2022-05-30 The crossbow is an iconic weapon of the Middle Ages and, alongside the longbow, one of the most effective ranged weapons of the pre-gunpowder era. Unfortunately, despite its general fame it has been decades since an in-depth history of the medieval crossbow has been published, which is why Stuart Ellis-Gorman's detailed, accessible, and highly illustrated study is so valuable. The Medieval Crossbow approaches the history of the crossbow from two directions. The first is a technical study of the design and construction of the medieval crossbow, the many different kinds of crossbows used during the Middle Ages, and finally a consideration of the relationship between crossbows and art. The second half of the book explores the history of the crossbow, from its origins in ancient China to its decline in sixteenth-century Europe. Along the way it explores the challenges in deciphering the crossbow's early medieval history as well as its prominence in warfare and sport shooting in the High and Later Middle Ages. This fascinating book brings together the work of a wide range of accomplished crossbow scholars and incorporates the author's own original research to create an account of the medieval crossbow that will appeal to anyone looking to gain an insight into one of the most important weapons of the Middle Ages. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Summer and July Paul Mosier, 2020-06-09 From the critically acclaimed author of Train I Ride and Echo’s Sister comes a moving story of friendship between two girls looking for some happiness in a world that can be a little cruel. Perfect for fans of Rebecca Stead, Ali Standish, and Erin Entrada Kelly. Twelve-year-old Juillet is preparing for the worst summer ever. She and her mom are staying in the seaside neighborhood of Ocean Park, California, for a month, where her mom will be working at the local hospital and Juillet will be on her own, like always. Her dad is off in Europe with his new girlfriend, and her best friend, Fern . . . well, Juiller isn’t allowed to talk to Fern anymore. Fern took the blame for Juillet’s goth-girl clothes and “not-real” fears, like sharks and rip currents and the number three. Then Juillet meets Summer, a local surfer girl who knows the coolest people and places around town. With free-spirited and adventurous Summer, Juillet begins to come out of her shell and face the things weighing her down. But when Summer reveals her own painful secret, it’s Juillet’s turn to be the strong and supportive friend. Named one of Bank Street College of Education's Best Children’s Books of the Year! |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Real Queer America Samantha Allen, 2019-03-05 LAMBDA LITERARY AWARD FINALIST A transgender reporter's powerful, profoundly moving narrative tour through the surprisingly vibrant queer communities sprouting up in red states (New York Times Book Review), offering a vision of a stronger, more humane America. Ten years ago, Samantha Allen was a suit-and-tie-wearing Mormon missionary. Now she's a GLAAD Award-winning journalist happily married to another woman. A lot in her life has changed, but what hasn't changed is her deep love of Red State America, and of queer people who stay in so-called flyover country rather than moving to the liberal coasts. In Real Queer America, Allen takes us on a cross-country road-trip stretching all the way from Provo, Utah to the Rio Grande Valley to the Bible Belt to the Deep South. Her motto for the trip: Something gay every day. Making pit stops at drag shows, political rallies, and hubs of queer life across the heartland, she introduces us to scores of extraordinary LGBT people working for change, from the first openly transgender mayor in Texas history to the manager of the only queer night club in Bloomington, Indiana, and many more. Capturing profound cultural shifts underway in unexpected places and revealing a national network of chosen family fighting for a better world, Real Queer America is a treasure trove of uplifting stories and a much-needed source of hope and inspiration in these divided times. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Strung Out Erin Khar, 2020-02-25 “This is a story she needed to tell; and the rest of the country needs to listen.” — New York Times Book Review “This vital memoir will change how we look at the opioid crisis and how the media talks about it. A deeply moving and emotional read, STRUNG OUT challenges our preconceived ideas of what addiction looks like.” —Stephanie Land, New York Times bestselling author of Maid In this deeply personal and illuminating memoir about her fifteen-year struggle with heroin, Khar sheds profound light on the opioid crisis and gives a voice to the over two million people in America currently battling with this addiction. Growing up in LA, Erin Khar hid behind a picture-perfect childhood filled with excellent grades, a popular group of friends and horseback riding. After first experimenting with her grandmother’s expired painkillers, Khar started using heroin when she was thirteen. The drug allowed her to escape from pressures to be perfect and suppress all the heavy feelings she couldn’t understand. This fiercely honest memoir explores how heroin shaped every aspect of her life for the next fifteen years and details the various lies she told herself, and others, about her drug use. With enormous heart and wisdom, she shows how the shame and stigma surrounding addiction, which fuels denial and deceit, is so often what keeps addicts from getting help. There is no one path to recovery, and for Khar, it was in motherhood that she found the inner strength and self-forgiveness to quit heroin and fight for her life. Strung Out is a life-affirming story of resilience while also a gripping investigation into the psychology of addiction and why people turn to opioids in the first place. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Spin the Dawn Elizabeth Lim, 2019-07-09 Project Runway meets Mulan in this sweeping fantasy about a teenage girl who poses as a boy to compete for the role of imperial tailor and embarks on an impossible journey to sew three magic dresses, from the sun, the moon, and the stars. And don’t miss Elizabeth Lim’s new novel, the instant New York Times bestseller, Six Crimson Cranes! “All the cutthroat competition of a runway fashion reality show and the thrilling exploits of an epic quest. —The Washington Post Maia Tamarin dreams of becoming the greatest tailor in the land, but as a girl, the best she can hope for is to marry well. When a royal messenger summons her ailing father, once a tailor of renown, to court, Maia makes the ultimate sacrifice and poses as a boy to take his place. She knows her life is forfeit if her secret is discovered, but she'll take that risk to achieve her dream and save her family from ruin. There's just one catch: Maia is one of twelve tailors in a cutthroat competition for the job. Backstabbing and lies run rampant as the tailors compete in challenges to prove their artistry and skill. Maia's task is further complicated when she draws the attention of the court magician, Edan, whose piercing eyes seem to see straight through her disguise. And nothing could have prepared her for the unthinkable final challenge: to sew three magic gowns for the emperor's reluctant bride-to-be, from the sun, the moon, and the stars. With this impossible task before her, she embarks on a journey to the far reaches of the kingdom, seeking the sun, the moon, and the stars, and finding more than she ever could have imagined. Steeped in Chinese culture, sizzling with forbidden romance, and shimmering with magic, this fantasy novel is not to be missed. This is a white-knuckle read. —Tamora Pierce, #1 New York Times Bestselling author of Tempests and Slaughter |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel Christopher Yuan, 2018-11-20 From the author of Out of a Far Country, which details his dramatic conversion from an agnostic gay man who put his identity in his sexuality to a Bible professor who now puts his identity in Christ alone, comes a gospel-centered discussion of sex, desire, and relationships. Dr. Christopher Yuan explores the concept of holy sexuality--chastity in singleness or faithfulness in marriage--in a practical and relevant manner, equipping readers with an accessible yet robust theology of sexuality. Whether you want to share Christ with a loved one who identifies as gay or you're wrestling with questions of identity yourself, this book will help you better understand sexuality in light of God's grand story and realize that holy sexuality is actually good news for all. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: A History of Bisexuality Steven Angelides, 2001-09-15 Angelides explores the evolution of sexuology, revisiting modern epistemological categories of sexuality in psychoanalysis, gay liberation, social constructionism, queer theory, biology, and human genetics. He argues that bisexuality has functioned historically as the structural other to sexual identity itself, undermining assumptions about heterosexuality and homosexuality. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: What's So Amazing About Grace? Revised and Updated Philip Yancey, 2023-10-03 OVER TWO MILLION COPIES SOLD! It's the most powerful force in the universe, our only hope for love and forgiveness, and a foretaste of eternal life: amazing, radical, life-changing grace. Millions of lives have been changed by award-winning author Philip Yancey's startling exploration of grace at street level. Grace is the one thing the world can't duplicate, the healing force we need, and the key to transforming a broken world. In this revised and updated edition of his personal and provocative book, Yancey offers true portraits of grace's life-changing power. These stories, set in the midst of life's stark realities, evoke such questions as: If grace is God's love for the undeserving, how do I get it? How well are we dispensing grace to a world that knows far more of strife and unforgiveness than it does of mercy? Can grace make a difference in the midst of such atrocities as the Nazi holocaust, and how can it withstand the brutality of hate? With powerful stories, rich theology, and practical suggestions, Yancey challenges us to become living answers to a world that desperately needs to know, What's So Amazing About Grace? |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Counseling Transgender and Non-Binary Youth Irwin Krieger, 2017-07-21 There are growing numbers of youth who identify as transgender, and as a result, clinicians and counselors are in need of an informed resource that covers the basics of gender identity and expression. This book responds to that need by setting out clear advice and support on working with transgender and non-binary youth with regard to their identity, mental health, personal and family life and their medical and social transition as well as offering additional resources and reading lists. Along with the basic information needed to understand transgender clients, Irwin Krieger applies this general knowledge to work with transgender teens at what can be the most critical and problematic stage in a trans person's life. Specifically, issues of gender identity awareness and expression for youth along with the mental and physical challenges that puberty presents are discussed. This guide will inform counselors and therapists to support transgender teens in their practice, while providing the necessary tools for opening up the conversation on transgender issues in families and schools. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Same-sex Marriage Debate Justin Healey, 2013 Same-sex marriages are currently not permitted under Australian federal law. Although same-sex couples in a de facto relationship have had most of the legal rights of married couples since July 2009, there is however no national registered partnership or civil union scheme. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: The Echo Wife Sarah Gailey, 2021-02-16 Sarah Gailey's The Echo Wife is “a trippy domestic thriller which takes the extramarital affair trope in some intriguingly weird new directions.”--Entertainment Weekly I’m embarrassed, still, by how long it took me to notice. Everything was right there in the open, right there in front of me, but it still took me so long to see the person I had married. It took me so long to hate him. Martine is a genetically cloned replica made from Evelyn Caldwell’s award-winning research. She’s patient and gentle and obedient. She’s everything Evelyn swore she’d never be. And she’s having an affair with Evelyn’s husband. Now, the cheating bastard is dead, and both Caldwell wives have a mess to clean up. Good thing Evelyn Caldwell is used to getting her hands dirty. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Option B Sheryl Sandberg, Adam Grant, 2017-04-24 #1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • From authors of Lean In and Originals: a powerful, inspiring, and practical book about building resilience and moving forward after life’s inevitable setbacks After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. “I was in ‘the void,’” she writes, “a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.” Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences. We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build. Option B combines Sheryl’s personal insights with Adam’s eye-opening research on finding strength in the face of adversity. Beginning with the gut-wrenching moment when she finds her husband, Dave Goldberg, collapsed on a gym floor, Sheryl opens up her heart—and her journal—to describe the acute grief and isolation she felt in the wake of his death. But Option B goes beyond Sheryl’s loss to explore how a broad range of people have overcome hardships including illness, job loss, sexual assault, natural disasters, and the violence of war. Their stories reveal the capacity of the human spirit to persevere . . . and to rediscover joy. Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles, allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. “I want Dave,” she cried. Her friend replied, “Option A is not available,” and then promised to help her make the most of Option B. We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Sexuality and Eroticism Among Males in Moslem Societies Arno Schmitt, Jehoeda Sofer, 1992 Here is the first major work published about sexuality and eroticism between males in Islamic society. Through narratives, analytic essays, descriptions, and academic treatises, Sexuality and Eroticism Among Males in Moslem Societies provides a revealing and most fascinating look into what is--for most Westerners--still a very hidden, very foreign culture. Until now there has existed a lack of solid information about sexuality in Islamic society, but this volume portrays very clearly the relationship between same-sex eroticism and the ideal of the man as penetrator. As a result, Sexuality and Eroticism Among Males in Moslem Societies illuminates not only homosexuality but the whole sexual culture and role of gender in the Muslim world. The chapters focus on homosexuality among men in Morocco, Syria, Iran, Turkey, and Israel. Despite its occurrence in this region of the world, sex between males is not considered to be homosexuality by most men--a concept that is reiterated in chapter after chapter. In addition to major differences in the attitudes toward homosexual acts in Muslim countries and the West, this enlightening book also shows great differences among the Muslim countries themselves, depending upon the degree to which Islamic law is enforced, the impact of different western colonial influences and legal systems, and the sheer impact of cultural variation within so vast a geographic area. There are some keen observations and insights into the socialization of boys in Islamic culture, the status and inaccessibility of women, and sex roles and attitudes toward them. Sexuality and Eroticism Among Males in Moslem Societies captures a sense of the Muslim countries in the process of rapid change--from the anti-modernist and religious fundamentalism of Iran to the attempts in the cities of Turkey to develop a western style gay way of life, with all the difficulties that involves. An engaging book for readers interested in gay studies, anthropologists, orientalists, historians, students of comparative law, and sexologists, it should also be read by anyone in contact with Arabs, Turks, or Persians--as tourists in Muslim countries, social service professionals working with immigrants, or friends of Muslims.after chapter. In addition to major differences in the attitudes toward homosexual acts in Muslim countries and the West, this enlightening book also shows great differences among the Muslim countries themselves, depending upon the degree to which Islamic law is enforced, the impact of different western colonial influences and legal systems, and the sheer impact of cultural variation within so vast a geographic area. There are some keen observations and insights into the socialization of boys in Islamic culture, the status and inaccessibility of women, and sex roles and attitudes toward them. Sexuality and Eroticism Among Males in Moslem Societies captures a sense of the Muslim countries in the process of rapid change--from the anti-modernist and religious fundamentalism of Iran to the attempts in the cities of Turkey to develop a western style gay way of life, with all the difficulties that involves. An engaging book for readers interested in gay studies, anthropologists, orientalists, historians, students of comparative law, and sexologists, it should also be read by anyone in contact with Arabs, Turks, or Persians--as tourists in Muslim countries, social service professionals working with immigrants, or friends of Muslims. historians, students of comparative law, and sexologists, it should also be read by anyone in contact with Arabs, Turks, or Persians--as tourists in Muslim countries, social service professionals working with immigrants, or friends of Muslims. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Sexuality in Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood Raymond Montemayor, 2018-10-23 Written in an engaging question-and-answer format, this accessible text synthesizes contemporary empirical research to provide a panoramic view of adolescent sexual development and behavior. The book examines sexuality as part of normative growth and development, in addition to addressing traditional problem areas such as sexual risk taking. Candid personal stories bring the theory and research to life. Topics include the precursors of adolescent sexuality in childhood; biological aspects of adolescent sexuality, including puberty and the adolescent brain; the influences of parents, peers, and the media; and gender and racial/ethnic differences in attitudes and behavior. Coverage also encompasses romantic relationships; the experiences of sexual- and gender-minority youth; sexually transmitted infections; contraception, pregnancy, and teen parenthood; cross-cultural and international research; and approaches to sex education. Pedagogical Features *Headings written as questions throughout the chapters--for example, How common is hooking up? and Is coming out to parents always a good thing? *In Their Own Words boxes with firsthand accounts from adolescents and young adults. *Focus on Research sidebars that discuss research methods, challenges, and controversies in the field. *End-of-chapter summaries and suggested readings. Winner (First Place)--American Journal of Nursing Book of the Year Award, Child Health Category |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Single, Gay, Christian Gregory Coles, 2017-08-22 In an age where neither society nor the church knows what to do with gay Christians, Greg Coles shares his story—a story about a boy in love with Jesus who, at the fateful onset of puberty, realized his sexual attractions were persistently and exclusively for other guys. This honest, hopeful account shows life through one man's eyes and assures all people: You are not a mistake. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: A Little Life Hanya Yanagihara, 2016-01-26 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Feed M. T. Anderson, 2010-05-11 Identity crises, consumerism, and star-crossed teenage love in a futuristic society where people connect to the Internet via feeds implanted in their brains. Winner of the LA Times Book Prize. For Titus and his friends, it started out like any ordinary trip to the moon - a chance to party during spring break and play around with some stupid low-grav at the Ricochet Lounge. But that was before the crazy hacker caused all their feeds to malfunction, sending them to the hospital to lie around with nothing inside their heads for days. And it was before Titus met Violet, a beautiful, brainy teenage girl who knows something about what it’s like to live without the feed-and about resisting its omnipresent ability to categorize human thoughts and desires. Following in the footsteps of George Orwell, Anthony Burgess, and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., M. T. Anderson has created a brave new world - and a hilarious new lingo - sure to appeal to anyone who appreciates smart satire, futuristic fiction laced with humor, or any story featuring skin lesions as a fashion statement. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Jay's Gay Agenda Jason June, 2021-06-01 From debut novelist Jason June comes a moving and hilarious sex-positive teen rom-com about the complexities of first loves, first hookups, and first heartbreaks—and how to stay true to yourself while embracing what you never saw coming, that’s perfect for fans of Sandhya Menon and Becky Albertalli. There’s one thing Jay Collier knows for sure—he’s a statistical anomaly as the only out gay kid in his small rural Washington town. While all his friends can’t stop talking about their heterosexual hookups and relationships, Jay can only dream of his own firsts, compiling a romance to-do list of all the things he hopes to one day experience—his Gay Agenda. Then, against all odds, Jay’s family moves to Seattle and he starts his senior year at a new high school with a thriving LGBTQIA+ community. For the first time ever, Jay feels like he’s found where he truly belongs. But as Jay begins crossing items off his list, he’ll soon be torn between his heart and his hormones, his old friends and his new ones . . . because after all, life and love don’t always go according to plan. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: What We Left Behind Robin Talley, 2016-09-06 From the acclaimed author of Lies We Tell Ourselves comes an empowering YA novel of what happens when love may not be enough to conquer all. Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. When they go off to different colleges—Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYU—they’re sure they’ll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, theirs is bound to stay rock-solid. The reality of being apart, though, is very different than they expected. Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, meets a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing. Gretchen, meanwhile, struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship. As distance and Toni’s shifting gender identity begin to wear on their relationship, the couple must decide—have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them together? |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Forest of Souls Lori M. Lee, 2020-06-23 Danger lurks within the roots of Forest of Souls, an epic, unrelenting tale of destiny and sisterhood, perfect for fans of Naomi Novik, Susan Dennard, and Netflix's The Witcher! A tantalizing beginning to a rich new fantasy series.” —Traci Chee, NYT bestselling author of The Reader trilogy Absolutely enchanting.” – Natalie C. Parker, author of Seafire You won’t want to escape.” – Sarah Henning, author of the Sea Witch Will leave you shouting sisters unite!” – Mindee Arnett, author of Onyx & Ivory and Avalon Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack and kill her best friend Saengo. And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life. Unveiled as the first soulguide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soulguide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: LGBTQ Clients in Therapy: Clinical Issues and Treatment Strategies Joe Kort, 2018-03-20 All the answers clinicians need to work effectively with LGBTQ clients. A therapist who treats LGBTQ clients often must be more than “gay friendly.” Clinical experience, scientific research, and cultural understanding are advancing rapidly, and the task of being LGBTQ informed is ever-changing in today's world. This book covers topics such as how to avoid making the common mistake of believing that a couple is a couple, thus treating LGBTQ couples the same as their heterosexual counterparts; how to treat clients struggling in mixed orientation marriages and relationships (straight and LGBTQ spouses in the same couple); and how to work with all clients who have non-heteronormative sexual behaviors and practices. Perhaps most importantly, the book discusses covert cultural sexual abuse (the trauma suffered from having to suppress one's own sexual and gender identity) as well as the difficult process of coming out to family and friends. A therapist's job is to help clients and their identities through their own lens and not anyone else's—especially the therapist's. The gay affirmative principles put forward in this book will help you build a stronger relationship with your LGBTQ clients and become the go-to therapist in your area. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: If These Ovaries Could Talk Jaimie Kelton, Robin Hopkins, 2020-09-22 If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We've Learned About Making An LGBTQ Family by JAIMIE KELTON and ROBIN HOPKINS is equal parts funny, serious, happy, sad, celebratory, cautionary, and powerful. You'll learn a lot and laugh even more along the way! Who knew making a baby could be this much fun? |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Do Ask, Do Tell, Let's Talk Brad Hambrick, 2016-03-01 Conversations among friends accomplish more than debates between opponents. Conversations on controversial issues do not to go well when the dialogue happens community-to-community or figurehead-to-figurehead. Whether it’s race, religion, or politics, groups don’t talk well with groups. Too much is at stake when we feel like our words and actions speak for the collective whole. Platforms and podiums will never accomplish what can only be done around dinner tables and in living rooms. Two individuals from those respective groups are much more likely to forge a good relationship, influencing one another in various ways. Unfortunately, an individual who listens well is often viewed by his or her collective compatriots as engaging in compromise; at the group level, representing each side fairly feels too much like agreement. That is why the aim of this book is friendship. Friendship is the level at which influence can be had, because the dialogue does not seek to represent an agenda but to understand a person. Friendship is what protects good points from becoming gotcha moments. The subject for which this approach may be most vital for the modern church may be homosexuality and same-sex attraction (SSA). Yet our approach has tended to be more polemical or political than pastoral and personal. Churches have articulated their position on a conservative sexual ethic. Churches have re-examined the key biblical texts that are challenged in defense of a progressive sexual ethic. As important as these things are, however, they do not equip everyday Christians to develop meaningful friendships with people who experience same-sex attraction or have embraced a gay identity. In the absence of relationship, our theology becomes theory. Many Christians are seeing that the church’s unwillingness to befriend people who experience SSA has blocked us from engaging with the subject of homosexuality on a person-to-person level. We are reticent to engage relationships where it feels probable that there will be awkwardness. Admittedly, this book is not as “neat” as you might like for it to be. Many tensions will be navigated; maybe not all contradictions will be avoided. However, when it comes to being salt and light for the sake of the gospel, it seems far better to choose possible messiness over guaranteed ineffectiveness. That means we must realize that it is good for us to have conversations where we don’t know what to say. This is part of the essence of being a growing person. When we’re not having conversations that challenge us to think about new things, we will commit sins either of pride or apathy. We should always be praying that God will bring people into our lives who will provide the opportunity for us to ask new and important questions. The desire of this book is to be a resource God uses to grow his people into excellent ambassador-friends to their classmates, colleagues, and family members who experience SSA. If this is what you want to do and be, then God will be faithful to complete this work in you regardless of the strengths and weaknesses, insights and oversights of this book (Philippians 1:6). Thank you for taking this journey with me. —Brad Hambrick |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Pride and Joy Sarah Hagger-Holt, Rachel Hagger-Holt, 2017 There have always been lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) parents. But now there is a 'gayby boom'. Changes in social attitudes, the law and medical technology mean that more LGBT people are becoming parents, and living proud and open family lives. Yet there are still few role models. Pride and Joy is full of stories, advice and real-life experience from LGBT parents and their children. Sometimes funny, sometimes moving, sometimes surprising, every story sheds new light on what it's like for LGBT people raising children in the UK and Ireland today. Pride and Joy is positive and practical. It covers everything from starting a family, dealing with schools, talking with children about different families, and maintaining an LGBT identity as a parent. This book is essential reading for anyone who wants to better understand issues facing LGBT families including parents or prospective parents; extended families and friends; and social workers, teachers and other professionals. |
questions to ask lgbtq friends: Your Black Friend Ben Passmore, 2016 An open letter from your black friend to you about race, racism, friendship, and alienation--Back cover. |