The Emotional Toll Of Adoption In America

The Emotional Toll of Adoption in America: A Journey Through Grief, Joy, and Uncertainty

Introduction:

Adoption, a beautiful act of giving and receiving love, often carries an unspoken weight: a significant emotional toll. While adoption offers the incredible gift of family, the journey is far from simple. This article delves into the complex emotional landscape faced by adoptive parents, adopted individuals, and birth parents in America, examining the challenges and triumphs inherent in this life-altering experience. We'll explore the nuances of grief, identity formation, attachment issues, and the long-term psychological effects, offering insight and resources for navigating this multifaceted process. We aim to provide a compassionate and informative resource for anyone affected by adoption, fostering understanding and promoting healing.

I. The Emotional Rollercoaster for Adoptive Parents:

Adoptive parents often face a unique set of emotional challenges. The initial joy of welcoming a child into their lives is frequently interwoven with anxieties surrounding attachment, bonding, and the child's past experiences. Many grapple with feelings of guilt, particularly if they struggled with infertility or experienced a lengthy adoption process. The fear of not measuring up to the child's needs, or the worry about the child's potential emotional scars, can be overwhelming. Furthermore, adoptive parents may face societal judgments or misconceptions, adding another layer of emotional strain. Open adoption, while often beneficial, can introduce complexities, requiring parents to navigate relationships with birth parents and the ongoing emotional impact on their family dynamic. The need to balance the celebration of their family with the recognition of their child's unique story requires constant emotional recalibration.

II. The Identity Crisis Faced by Adopted Individuals:

For adopted individuals, the journey of self-discovery often involves grappling with a profound sense of identity. Questions surrounding origins, biological family, and the reasons for adoption can dominate their thoughts and feelings. This can manifest as feelings of loss, confusion, and a persistent search for belonging. Some may experience intense grief over the loss of their biological family, a grief that may not be fully understood by those around them. The process of integrating their adoption story into their sense of self can be a lifelong journey, with varying levels of emotional turbulence at different life stages. The timing and manner in which an adopted person learns about their adoption can significantly impact their emotional development and well-being. Access to information about their biological family, or a lack thereof, can further exacerbate feelings of uncertainty and loss.

III. The Emotional Burden on Birth Parents:

The emotional toll on birth parents is often overlooked but equally significant. The decision to place a child for adoption is frequently agonizing and carries long-lasting emotional consequences. Feelings of grief, loss, guilt, and regret are common, even decades after the adoption. The ongoing uncertainty about their child's life and well-being can be a constant source of anxiety. Many birth parents experience a profound sense of loss, not just of the child but also of the dreams and expectations they once held for their future as a parent. The societal stigma surrounding placing a child for adoption can add to their emotional burden, making it challenging to speak openly about their experiences. The emotional impact is deeply personal and influenced by individual circumstances, the type of adoption arrangement, and access to support systems.

IV. Long-Term Psychological Impacts and Seeking Support:

The emotional ramifications of adoption can have long-term psychological effects, impacting mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Individuals affected by adoption may experience increased rates of anxiety, depression, attachment disorders, and other mental health conditions. Early intervention and access to therapeutic support can be crucial in mitigating these potential challenges. Therapy can provide a safe space for processing complex emotions, developing coping mechanisms, and fostering healthy relationships. Support groups, specifically designed for adoptive families, adopted individuals, or birth parents, offer invaluable opportunities for connection, shared experiences, and mutual understanding.


V. Fostering Open Communication and Building Resilience:

Open communication within the adoptive family, between adoptive parents and the adopted child, and potentially with birth parents, is vital for emotional well-being. Creating a supportive and understanding environment where questions are encouraged and emotions are validated is paramount. This can help to mitigate feelings of secrecy or shame and foster a strong sense of belonging. Building resilience involves developing coping strategies for managing emotional challenges, seeking support when needed, and celebrating the strengths and triumphs within the adoption journey. This might involve practicing self-care, mindfulness techniques, or engaging in activities that promote emotional well-being.

Article Outline: The Emotional Toll of Adoption in America

Introduction: Defining the scope of the emotional challenges surrounding adoption.
Chapter 1: Adoptive Parents' Experiences: Exploring anxieties, guilt, and the complexities of open adoption.
Chapter 2: The Adopted Individual's Journey: Delving into identity formation, grief, and the search for belonging.
Chapter 3: The Birth Parent's Perspective: Examining grief, loss, societal stigma, and long-term emotional effects.
Chapter 4: Long-Term Psychological Impacts: Discussing mental health concerns and the importance of seeking support.
Chapter 5: Building Resilience and Fostering Open Communication: Strategies for navigating challenges and strengthening family bonds.
Conclusion: Summarizing key findings and emphasizing the importance of understanding and support.


(Detailed explanation of each chapter is provided above in the main body of the article.)


FAQs:

1. What are the most common emotional challenges faced by adoptive parents? Anxiety about attachment, guilt over infertility or the adoption process, fear of not meeting the child's needs, and navigating relationships with birth parents.

2. How does adoption affect the identity formation of adopted individuals? It can lead to questions about origins, a search for belonging, feelings of loss, and challenges in integrating their adoption story into their sense of self.

3. What emotional burdens do birth parents typically carry after placing a child for adoption? Grief, loss, guilt, regret, anxiety about the child's well-being, and the societal stigma associated with adoption.

4. What are some long-term psychological effects of adoption? Increased rates of anxiety, depression, attachment disorders, and other mental health challenges.

5. What type of support is available for families affected by adoption? Therapy, support groups, adoption agencies, and online communities offering resources and guidance.

6. How can families foster open and honest communication about adoption? Creating a safe environment for questions, validating emotions, and actively incorporating the child's adoption story into family narratives.

7. Is open adoption always the best option? The "best" option is highly individualized and depends on the specific circumstances and needs of all involved parties.

8. How can adoptive parents help their child navigate their identity? Encourage exploration of their heritage, provide access to relevant information, and validate their emotions and questions.

9. Where can I find more information and support resources? Adoption agencies, mental health professionals specializing in adoption, and online support communities are valuable resources.


Related Articles:

1. The Impact of Early Childhood Trauma on Adopted Children: Explores the effects of early experiences on attachment and emotional development.

2. Navigating Open Adoption: A Guide for Adoptive Families: Provides practical advice and insights on maintaining healthy relationships with birth parents.

3. The Mental Health Needs of Adopted Adults: Focuses on the unique challenges faced by adults who were adopted as children.

4. Supporting Birth Mothers Through the Adoption Process: Offers resources and strategies for providing emotional support to birth mothers.

5. The Role of Therapy in Adoption: Discusses the benefits of therapeutic interventions for adoptive families, adopted individuals, and birth parents.

6. Building Resilience in Adoptive Families: Shares practical strategies for building strong family bonds and coping with challenges.

7. Understanding Attachment Issues in Adopted Children: Explains the different types of attachment and provides guidance for promoting secure attachments.

8. The Legal Aspects of Adoption in America: Provides information about the legal processes involved in adoption.

9. Adoption and Transracial Adoption: Explores the unique considerations and challenges faced by families in transracial adoptions.


  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Adoption and Loss Evelyn Robinson, Evelyn Robinson Oam, 2018-11-22 Evelyn Robinson, OAM, has written four books about adoption separation and reunion. This is her first book. What becomes of women who are separated from their children by adoption? Why do so many adopted people feel such a strong desire to seek out their families of origin? In what ways are families with adopted children different from other families? This book by Evelyn Robinson provides the answers to these questions and many others.'Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief' was first published in 2000. A revised edition was published in 2003 and the 21st Century edition was published in 2018.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Primal Wound Nancy Newton Verrier, 2009 Originally published in 1993, this classic piece of literature on adoption has revolutionised the way people think about adopted children. Nancy Verrier examines the life-long consequences of the 'primal wound' - the wound that is caused when a child is separated from its mother - for adopted people. Her argument is supported by thorough research in pre- and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding and the effects of loss.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Being Adopted David M. Brodzinsky, Marshall D. Schecter, Robin Marantz Henig, 1993-03-01 Like Passages, this groundbreaking book uses the poignant, powerful voices of adoptees and adoptive parents to explore the experience of adoption and its lifelong effects. A major work, filled with astute analysis and moving truths.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Emotional Experience of Adoption Debbie Hindle, Graham Shulman, 2008-04-10 Adoption is an extremely complex and emotionally demanding process for all those involved. This book explores the emotional experience of adoption from a psychoanalytic perspective, and demonstrates how psychoanalytic understanding and treatment can contribute to thinking about and working with adopted children and their families. Drawing on psychoanalytic, attachment and child development theory, and detailed in-depth clinical case discussion, The Emotional Experience of Adoption explores issues such as: the emotional experience of children placed for adoption, and how this both shapes and is shaped by unconscious processes in the child’s inner world how psychoanalytic child psychotherapy can help as a distinctive source of understanding and as a treatment for children who are either in the process of being adopted or already adopted how such understanding can inform planning and decision making amongst professionals and carers. The Emotional Experience of Adoption explains and accounts for the emotional and psychological complexities involved for child, parents and professionals in adoption. It will be of interest and relevance to anyone involved at a personal level in the adoption process or professionals working in the fields of adoption, social work, child mental health, foster care and family support.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Emotional Experience of Adoption Debbie Hindle, Graham Shulman, 2008-04-10 This book demonstrates how psychoanalytic understanding and treatment can contribute to thinking about and working with adopted children and their families. It illustrates how psychoanalytic psychotherapy can help both as a treatment and as a distinctive source of understanding for children who are either in the process of being adopted or already adopted.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: A for Adoption Alison Roy, 2020-04-17 The experience of adoption—both adopting and being adopted—can stir up deep emotional pain, often related to loss and early trauma. A for Adoption provides insight and support to those families and individuals facing these complex processes and challenges. Drawing on both a psychoanalytic, theoretical framework and first-hand accounts of adopters, adoptees, and professionals within the adoption process, Alison Roy responds to the need for further and consistent support for adoptive parents and children, to help inform and understand the reality of their everyday lives. This book explores both the current and historical context of adoption, as well as its depiction within literature, before addressing issues such as conflict in relationships, the impact of significant trauma and loss, attachment and the importance of early relationships, and contact with birth families. Uniquely, this book addresses the experiences of, and provides support for, both adoptive professionals and families. It focuses on understanding rather than apportioning blame, and responds to a plea from a parent who requested a book to help me understand my child better.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Adoption Healing Joe Soll, Karen Wilson Buterbaugh, 2003 A unique book describing the coersion of pregnant women to surrender their babies to adoption, the personal holocaust suffered by them, and strategies for healing
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Labor of the Heart Kathleen Whitten, 2008-02-28 Adoptive parents often experience the double trial of emotional responses to infertility and to the process of adoption itself, called excruciating labor with no end in sight, by one adoptive mother. Would-be adoptive parents cycle through grief, anger, fear, anxiety, frustration, and guilt-and back again. All of these emotions cloud decision-making, at exactly the time that adoptive parents are making life-altering, irrevocable decisions: whether to adopt at all, to adopt an older child or an infant, or to parent a child with developmental delays, as well as other pressing questions. New empirical research by Kathleen Whitten, Ph.D., a developmental psychologist and adoptive mother, and other experts in the field contradicts many of the outdated myths presented to parents and written about in widely-used adoption guides. Whitten separates fact from fiction and leads parents by the hand through the many emotional impacts the process involves. Written in a reassuring, conversational tone, the author tells parents when they should listen to their heart-and when practical considerations are too important to ignore. Each chapter features workbook section with constructive exercises and stimulating questions. Adoptive parents do not need yet another book promising a fast track to a child or explaining how to collect documents. Instead, they need Labor of the Heart to help them through the difficult emotions and decisions about adoption.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Jean Paton and the Struggle to Reform American Adoption E. Wayne Carp, 2014 Adoption activist Jean Paton (1908–2002) fought tirelessly to reform American adoption, dedicating her life to overcoming American society’s prejudices against adult adoptees and women who give birth out of wedlock. From the 1950s until the time of her death, Paton wrote widely and passionately about the adoption experience, corresponded with policymakers as well as individual adoptees, promoted the psychological well-being of adoptees, and facilitated reunions between adoptees and their birth parents. She also led the struggle to re-open adoption records, creating a national movement that continues to this day. While “open adoption” is often now the rule for adoptions within the United States, for those in earlier eras, adopted in secrecy, the records remain sealed; many adoptees live (and die) without vital information that should be a birthright, and birth parents suffer a similar deprivation. At this writing, only seven of fifty states have open records. (Kansas and Alaska have never closed theirs.) E. Wayne Carp’s masterful biography of Jean Paton brings this neglected civil-rights pioneer and her accomplishments into the light. Paton’s ceaseless activity created the preconditions for the explosive emergence of the adoption reform movement in the 1970s. She founded the Life History Study Center and Orphan Voyage and was also instrumental in forming two of the movement’s most vital organizations, Concerned United Birthparents and the American Adoption Congress. Her unflagging efforts over five decades helped reverse social workers’ harmful policy and practice concerning adoption and sealed adoption records and change lawmakers’ enactment of laws prejudicial to adult adoptees and birth mothers, struggles that continue to this day. Read more about Jean Paton at http://jeanpaton.com/
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency Sharon Roszia, Allison Davis Maxon, 2019-07-18 Based on a hugely successful US model, the Seven Core Issues in Adoption is the first conceptual framework of its kind to offer a unifying lens that was inclusive of all individuals touched by the adoption experience. The Seven Core Issues are Loss, Rejection, Shame/Guilt, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, and Mastery/Control. The book expands the model to be inclusive of adoption and all forms of permanency: adoption, foster care, kinship care, donor insemination and surrogacy. Attachment and trauma are integrated with the Seven Core Issues model to address and normalize the additional tasks individuals and families will encounter. The book views the Seven Core Issues from a range of perspectives including: multi-racial, LGBTQ, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, African-American, International, openness, search and reunion, and others. This essential guide introduces each Core Issue, its impact on individuals, offering techniques for growth and healing.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Effects of Early Social-Emotional and Relationship Experience on the Development of Young Orphanage Children The St. Petersburg-USA Orphanage Research Team, 2009-04-27 Undertaken at orphanages in Russia, this study tests the role of early social and emotion experience in the development of children. Children were exposed to either multiple caregivers who performed routine duties in a perfunctory manner with minimal interaction or fewer caregivers who were trained to engage in warm, responsive, and developmentally appropriate interactions during routine care. Engaged and responsive caregivers were associated with substantial improvements in child development and these findings provide a rationale for making similar improvements in other institutions, programs, and organizations.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Girlhood in America [2 volumes] Miriam Forman-Brunell, 2001-06-08 This groundbreaking reference work presents more than 100 articles by 98 high-profile interdisciplinary scholars, covering all aspects of girls' roles in American society, past and present. In this comprehensive, readable, two volume encyclopedia, experts from a variety of disciplines contribute pieces to the puzzle of what it means—and what it has meant over the last 400 years—to be a girl in America. The portrait that emerges reveals deep differences in girls' experiences depending on socioeconomic context, religious and ethnic traditions, family life, schools, institutions, and the messages of consumer and popular culture. Girls have been commodified, idealized, trivialized, eroticized, and shaped by the powerful forces of popular culture, from Little Women to Barbie. Yet girls are also powerful co-creators of the culture that shapes them, often cleverly subverting it to their own purposes. From Pocahantas to punk rockers, girls have been an integral, if overlooked and undervalued, part of American culture.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: What to Expect When You're Adopting... Dr Ian Palmer, 2009-04-02 As would-be parents cycle through the adoption process, they balance anxiety and fear with the life-altering decision of adoption. The emotional toll of this dance can be completely overwhelming and can confuse parents while navigating the decisions of how to expand their families. Drawing on extensive research and the author's own experience of being adopted, What to Expect When You're Adopting... does not gloss over the realities of the adoption process, but rather leads parents through the many stages and emotional aspects involved and offer practical and sensitive advice allowing you to: - Make crucial decisions with confidence - Build a strong foundation for your family - Separate the myths about adopted children from the realities - Discover the key to healthy attachment with your child Dr Ian Palmer will also deal with the issues of single-parent adoption, infertility and, unusually, the option of remaining childless.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: National Adoption Directory Elizabeth S. Cole, 1989
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Encyclopedia of Adoption Christine A. Adamec, Laurie C. Miller, 2007 Includes information on the Adoption and Safe Families Act, a federal law created to encourage the adoption of foster children. This encyclopedia also includes information on other adoption issues such as laws concerning adoptions by gays and lesbians, tax issues, school and adopted children, birthfather rights, transracial adoptions, and more.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Psychology of Adoption David Brodzinsky, Marshall D. Schechter, 1990 A valuable collection of chapters dealing with a wide range of theoretical, empirical, and practical issues related to adoption....Brodzinsky and Schechter are to be commended for helping to bring adoption out of the realm of opinion by securing its footing on a strong research base. --Contemporary Psychology
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Post-Adoption Blues Karen J. Foli, John R. Thompson, 2004-08-07 Over 150,000 people adopt children each year, and more than 2 million parents are now raising adopted children and grandchildren. While the path to parenting through adoption is rich with rewards and fulfillment, it's not without its bumps. This compassionate, illuminating, and ultimately uplifting book is the first to openly recognize the very normal feelings of stress that adoptive families encounter as they cope with the challenges and expectations of their new families. Where do parents turn when the waited-for bonding with their adopted child is slow to form? When they find themselves grieving over the birth child they couldn't have? When the child they so eagerly welcomed into their home arrives with major, unexpected needs? Until now, adoptive parents have had to struggle silently with their feelings, which can range from flutters of anxiety to unbearable sadness. At last, Karen J. Foli, a registered nurse, and her husband, John R. Thompson, a psychiatrist, lift the curtain of secrecy from Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS). Drawing on their own experience as adoptive parents as well as interviews with dozens of adoptive families and experts in the field, the couple offers parents the understanding, support, and concrete solutions they need to overcome post-adoption blues-and open their hearts to the joy adoption can bring.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Routledge Handbook of Adoption Gretchen Miller Wrobel, Emily Helder, Elisha Marr, 2020-02-17 Adoption is practiced globally yielding a multidimensional area of study that cannot be characterized by a single movement or discipline. This handbook provides a central source of contemporary scholarship from a variety of disciplines with an international perspective and uses a multifaceted and interdisciplinary approach to ground adoption practices and activities in scientific research. Perspectives of birth/first parents, adoptive parents, and adopted persons are brought forth through a range of disciplinary and theoretical lenses. Beginning with background and context of adoption, including sociocultural and political contexts, the handbook then addresses the diversity of adoptive families in terms of family forms, attitudes about adoption, and characteristics of adopted children. Next, research examining the lived experience of adoption for birth parents, adoptive parents, and adopted individuals is presented. A variety of outcomes for internationally and domestically adopted children and adoptive families is then discussed and the handbook concludes by addressing the development, training, and implementation of adoption competent clinical practice. With cutting-edge research from top international scholars in a diversity of fields, The Routledge Handbook of Adoption should be considered essential reading for students, researchers, and practitioners across the fields of social work, sociology, psychology, medicine, family science, education, and demography. Interviews with chapter authors can be accessed as podcasts (https://anchor.fm/emily-helder) or as videos (https://bit.ly/2FIoi0a).
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Adoption-specific Therapy Jill Waterman, Audra Langley, Jeanne Miranda, Debbie B. Riley, 2018 This manual presents a structured, evidence-based protocol for mental health treatment for families that adopt vulnerable children. Children who are adopted at an older age through foster care and those adopted from overseas orphanages are at high risk for behavioral and emotional distress. This important manual presents a structured, evidence-based protocol for providing mental health treatment to families adopting vulnerable children. Drawing on their extensive clinical experience as founding members of premier national organizations that serve adopted children and their families, the authors of this book describe the typical presenting behavioral problems of adopted children, as well as the underlying issues contributing to these problems that uniquely affect adoptive families. These include concerns related to parent child attachment, loss and grief, trauma, the child's understanding of his or her adoption story, identity development, and birth family connections. Therapy sessions deliver evidence based child coping strategies and positive parenting approaches that are tailored to account for the child's past history, alongside resiliency focused, trauma competent, attachment based treatment. The book's companion website provides free in-session handouts for practitioners. Given the unique needs of this clinical population, this book is essential for therapists who treat adopted and foster youth and their families.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: American Baby Gabrielle Glaser, 2021-01-26 A New York Times Notable Book The shocking truth about postwar adoption in America, told through the bittersweet story of one teenager, the son she was forced to relinquish, and their search to find each other. “[T]his book about the past might foreshadow a coming shift in the future… ‘I don’t think any legislators in those states who are anti-abortion are actually thinking, “Oh, great, these single women are gonna raise more children.” No, their hope is that those children will be placed for adoption. But is that the reality? I doubt it.’”[says Glaser]” -Mother Jones During the Baby Boom in 1960s America, women were encouraged to stay home and raise large families, but sex and childbirth were taboo subjects. Premarital sex was common, but birth control was hard to get and abortion was illegal. In 1961, sixteen-year-old Margaret Erle fell in love and became pregnant. Her enraged family sent her to a maternity home, where social workers threatened her with jail until she signed away her parental rights. Her son vanished, his whereabouts and new identity known only to an adoption agency that would never share the slightest detail about his fate. The adoption business was founded on secrecy and lies. American Baby lays out how a lucrative and exploitative industry removed children from their birth mothers and placed them with hopeful families, fabricating stories about infants' origins and destinations, then closing the door firmly between the parties forever. Adoption agencies and other organizations that purported to help pregnant women struck unethical deals with doctors and researchers for pseudoscientific assessments, and shamed millions of women into surrendering their children. The identities of many who were adopted or who surrendered a child in the postwar decades are still locked in sealed files. Gabrielle Glaser dramatically illustrates in Margaret and David’s tale--one they share with millions of Americans—a story of loss, love, and the search for identity.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Relinquishing mothers in adoption: their long-term adjustment WINKLER R., KEPPEL M. (Van)., 1984
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Lost Family Libby Copeland, 2020-03-03 “A fascinating exploration of the mysteries ignited by DNA genealogy testing—from the intensely personal and concrete to the existential and unsolvable.” —Tana French, New York Times–bestselling author You swab your cheek or spit in a vial, then send it away to a lab somewhere. Weeks later you get a report that might tell you where your ancestors came from or if you carry certain genetic risks. Or, the report could reveal a long-buried family secret that upends your entire sense of identity. Soon a lark becomes an obsession, a relentless drive to find answers to questions at the core of your being, like “Who am I?” and “Where did I come from?” Welcome to the age of home genetic testing. In The Lost Family, journalist Libby Copeland investigates what happens when we embark on a vast social experiment with little understanding of the ramifications. She explores the culture of genealogy buffs, the science of DNA, and the business of companies like Ancestry and 23andMe, all while tracing the story of one woman, her unusual results, and a relentless methodical drive for answers that becomes a thoroughly modern genetic detective story. Gripping and masterfully told, The Lost Family is a spectacular book on a big, timely subject. “An urgently necessary, powerful book that addresses one of the most complex social and bioethical issues of our time.” —Dani Shapiro, New York Times–bestselling author “Before you spit in that vial, read this book.” —The New York Times Book Review “Impeccably researched . . . up-to-the-minute science meets the philosophy of identity in a poignant, engaging debut.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Attaching in Adoption Deborah D. Gray, 2012 This classic text is a comprehensive guide for prospective and actual adoptive parents on how to understand and care for their adopted child and promote healthy attachment. It explains what attachment is and provides parenting techniques matched to children's emotional needs and stages to enhance children's happiness and emotional health.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Handbook of Adoption Rafael A. Javier, 2007 'Handbook of Adoption' addresses topics in adoption that reflect the many dimensions of theory, research, development, race adjustment and clinical practice which can affect adoption triad members.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew Sherrie Eldridge, 2009-10-07 Birthdays may be difficult for me. I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family. When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me. I am afraid you will abandon me. The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Asian American and Pacific Islander Children and Mental Health Frederick T. Leong, Linda Juang, Desiree B. Qin, Hiram E. Fitzgerald, 2011-05-26 This first-of-its-kind, two-volume set examines physical, psychological, social, and environmental factors that undermine—or support—healthy development in Asian American children. How do skin color, culture, racial and ethnic identities, politics, economics, and environment influence children's mental health and academic success? Asian American and Pacific Islander Children and Mental Health spotlights these forces and more. This unique, two-volume work examines a wide range of factors that affect children, including family conditions and economic status, child abuse, substance abuse, gangs, and community stability, as well as prejudices such as the common expectation that Asian Americans are a model minority and their children whiz kids. Since education is key to success, contributors consider the factors affecting Asian American children largely in the context of educational readiness and academic adjustment. However, the set is not limited to exploring problems. It also looks at factors that help Asian American children be mentally healthy, engaged, and successful at school and in later life. Volume one of the set explores development and context, while volume two looks at prevention and treatment.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Beneath the Mask Debbie Riley, John E. Meeks, 2005
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Child Development Mediated by Trauma Boris Gindis, 2019-06-04 Drawing on clinical data obtained through the study of children adopted from overseas orphanages, the author of this cutting-edge text applies the Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD) conceptual framework to the analysis of psychological, educational and mental health impact of the early childhood trauma on development. A massive scale of international adoption of children, victims of profound neglect and deprivation, combined with the fundamental change in a child's social situation of development after adoption, offers a valuable opportunity to explore the concept of Developmental Trauma Disorder, in particular, developmental delays, emotional vulnerability, mixed maturity, cumulative cognitive deficit, and post-orphanage behavior patterns, being presented by many adoptees long after the adoption. By focusing on the neurological and psychological nature of childhood trauma, Dr. Gindis offers a unique approach to understanding the ongoing impacts of DTD and the ways in which any subsequent neuropsychological, educational, and mental health issues might be assessed. Offering an evidence-based exploration of DTD, and a critique of conventional approaches to rehabilitation and remediation of international adoptees, this book will be of great interest to researchers in the fields of psychology, mental health, education and child development; as well as clinicians involved in trauma treatment and international adoption.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Adopting America Carol J. Singley, 2012-01-01 American literature abounds with orphans who experience adoption or placements that resemble adoption. These stories do more than recount adventures of children living away from home. They tell an American story of family and national identity. In narratives from the seventeenth to the early twentieth century, adoption functions as narrative event and trope that describes the American migratory experience, the impact of Calvinist faith, and the growth of democratic individualism. The roots of literary adoption appear in the discourse of Puritan settlers, who ambivalently took leave of their birth parent country and portrayed themselves as abandoned children. Believing they were chosen children of God, they also prayed for spiritual adoption and emulated God's grace by extending adoption to others. Nineteenth-century adoption literature develops from this notion of adoption as salvation and from simultaneous attachments to the Old World and the New. In domestic fiction of the mid-nineteenth century, adoption also reflects a focus on nurture in childrearing, increased mobility in the nation, and middle-class concerns over immigration and urbanization, assuaged when the orphan finds a proper, loving home. Adoption signals fresh starts and the opportunity for success without genealogical constraints, especially for white males, but inflected by gender and racial biases, it often entails dependency for girls and children of color. A complex signifier of difference, adoption gives voice to sometimes contradictory calls to origins and fresh beginning; to feelings of worthiness and unworthiness. In writings from Cotton Mather to Edith Wharton, it both replicates and offers an alternative to the genealogical norm, evoking ambivalence as it shapes national mythologies.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Social History of the American Family Marilyn J. Coleman, Lawrence H. Ganong, 2014-09-02 The American family has come a long way from the days of the idealized family portrayed in iconic television shows of the 1950s and 1960s. The four volumes of The Social History of the American Family explore the vital role of the family as the fundamental social unit across the span of American history. Experiences of family life shape so much of an individual’s development and identity, yet the patterns of family structure, family life, and family transition vary across time, space, and socioeconomic contexts. Both the definition of who or what counts as family and representations of the “ideal” family have changed over time to reflect changing mores, changing living standards and lifestyles, and increased levels of social heterogeneity. Available in both digital and print formats, this carefully balanced academic work chronicles the social, cultural, economic, and political aspects of American families from the colonial period to the present. Key themes include families and culture (including mass media), families and religion, families and the economy, families and social issues, families and social stratification and conflict, family structures (including marriage and divorce, gender roles, parenting and children, and mixed and non-modal family forms), and family law and policy. Features: Approximately 600 articles, richly illustrated with historical photographs and color photos in the digital edition, provide historical context for students. A collection of primary source documents demonstrate themes across time. The signed articles, with cross references and Further Readings, are accompanied by a Reader’s Guide, Chronology of American Families, Resource Guide, Glossary, and thorough index. The Social History of the American Family is an ideal reference for students and researchers who want to explore political and social debates about the importance of the family and its evolving constructions.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Thicker Than Blood Marion Crook, 2016-07-11 The act of adopting children, and the processes and politics around it, have changed drastically in recent decades, mostly for the better. Still, many prospective adoptive parents remain bewildered or apprehensive, and those who have adopted find themselves struggling in ways they hadn't anticipated. Thicker Than Blood is a comprehensive yet down-to-earth look at adoptive parenting in the twenty-first century. Author Marion Crook's family includes two adopted sons; in her experience, adoptive parents need to acquire skills, knowledge, and a good sense of humor in order to deal with the emotional upheavals of raising adopted children. The book looks at all facets of adoption, including its dark history over the past one hundred years when it was seen as a lower-class option for desperate parents, or when children were taken from single mothers against their will. Today, adoption is much more open-minded?LGBT adoptive parents and adoptive single parents are now commonplace?yet challenges linger, from adoptive children suffering from PTSD to those dealing with issues of anger and abandonment. Crook gently takes adoptive parents through the process of adoption from childhood to adulthood, helping to demystify the experience with compassion and reassurance. Meticulously researched but refreshingly free of academic jargon, Thicker Than Blood will enlighten and empower adoptive parents and those who work with adopted children alike. Marion Crook is the author of twenty-one previous books which include novels and nonfiction for both adults and young people, on such subjects as women's health, teen suicide, and body image.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, 2-Volume - E-Book Robert Kliegman, Joseph W. St. Geme III, 2024-03-29 **Selected for Doody's Core Titles® 2024 with Essential Purchase designation in Pediatrics**Covering every aspect of general pediatric practice, as well as details for many pediatric subspecialists, Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, 22nd Edition, brings you fully up to date with everything from rapidly changing diagnostic and treatment protocols to new technologies to the wide range of biologic, psychologic, and social problems faced by children today. Edited and written by experts and prominent members of the pediatric medical community, this comprehensive two-volume reference covers both the science and art of pediatric practice. It remains the reference of choice among pediatricians, pediatric residents, and others involved in the care of young patients, delivering the information you need in a concise, easy-to-use format for everyday reference and study. - Features a user-friendly format with short chapters and subchapters that allow you to quickly find the information you need. - Includes more than 60 new chapters on topics covering the impact of social factors on children's health, the impact of genetic discoveries on understanding diagnosing and treating childhood diseases, updating of current evidenced based diagnostic and therapeutic approaches to childhood diseases, and more. - Offers new and expanded information on gene therapy; interferonopathies; reactive infectious mucocutaneous eruption (RIME); e-cigarette or vaping use-associated lung injury (EVALI); monkeypox; food protein-induced enterocolitis syndrome (FPIES); signaling pathway disorders; ciliopathies; very early onset inflammatory bowel disease; Epstein-Barr virus susceptibility disorders; marijuana smoke exposure; and much more. - Features hundreds of new figures and tables throughout for visual clarity and quick reference, real-time videos, and regular updates online, written exclusively for Nelson. - Provides fresh perspectives from two new associate editors: Abigail M. Schuh and Cara L. Mack, both of Medical College of Wisconsin. - Remains your indispensable source for definitive, evidence-based answers on every aspect of pediatric care. - Any additional digital ancillary content may publish up to 6 weeks following the publication date.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Psychological Issues in Adoption David M. Brodzinsky, Jesús Palacios (PhD.), 2005 The practice of adoption has changed dramatically in the past twenty years. Most adoptions are now transracial or special needs cases. This book will allow Practitioners to gain insights into the psychological issues facing the adopted child.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Tax Provisions in the Contract with America Designed to Strengthen the American Family United States. Congress. House. Committee on Ways and Means, 1995
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Multicultural School Psychology Competencies Danielle Martines, 2008-07-08 This is a practical resource guide presenting lecturers and students with material which will help apply the theory of multicultural school psychology and counselling in practice. Its emphasis is on helping educational psychologists to develop and refine multicultural competencies and assessments.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Research Handbook on Adoption Law Nigel Lowe, Claire Fenton-Glynn, 2023-01-20 Bringing together scholars from a wide range of disciplines, this captivating and judicious Research Handbook provides diverse perspectives on the law and practice of adoption. It examines how adoption laws differ between countries and cultures, and the ongoing effects of adoption on the child, the birth parent(s), and the adoptive parent(s).
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Emotional Disturbance in Adopted Adolescents Harold D. Grotevant, Ruth Mcroy, Susan Zurcher, 1988-07-28 A report of research on two groups of residentially placed, emotionally disturbed adolescents compared on the basis of their adoptive status. A post hoc comparison with a nondisturbed adoptive group is also included. . . . McRoy, Grotevant, and Zurcher examine factors related to adoption that may contribute to the development of emotional difficulties. The authors' suggestions are worthy of consideration by professionals in the field. . . . The theoretical reviews of potential sources of difficulty in adoption are well done and informative, and the presentation of the perspectives of both adoptees and adoptive parents is also laudable. Choice Many adopted children experience emotional disorders during adolescence that require residential treatment. This volume reports research findings comparing adopted and non-adopted adolescents in treatment. The authors first discuss the difficulties of the adolescent period itself, particularly as it relates to identity problems. Based on extensive interviews with adoptive and non-adoptive parents, adolescents, and their therapists, successive chapters analyze genetic risk and prenatal care, explore the impact of family and peer relationships, examine familiar and contextual factors that initiate and maintain emotional problems, and examine adoptive family dynamics and adoption issues in nonclinical families. The various theoretical perspectives research findings, and well-reasoned recommendations in this volume will interest social workers, clinical and developmental psychologists, and special education professionals.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Fathers and Forefathers Martin Robb , 2020-12-15 Research on fathers and fatherhood has blossomed in recent years, focusing, for the most part, on present-day fathering experiences but also beginning to uncover hidden narratives of past fatherhood. This collection aims to add something new to this expanding field by exploring the dynamic relationship between present and past fatherhoods. The popular understanding of fathers in past generations, as being detached and uninvolved in the lives of their children, can be said to play a significant part in the construction of modern fathering identities, with ideas of “new” fatherhood being played off against notions of historical fathering practices. However, research has begun to show that these popular myths often misremember the past, judging it by current standards and obscuring the diverse nature of fathering practices in the recent and distant past. A genealogical approach is able to critically examine these intergenerational constructions of fatherhood and more positively illuminate the ways in which experiences of fathering and being fathered are passed on between generations. The contributions to this collection use a genealogical approach (broadly defined) to fathering and fatherhood as a way of defamiliarizing accepted narratives and suggesting new ways of thinking about men and their relationships with their children.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: The Complete Adoption & Fertility Legal Guide Brette McWhorter Sember, 2004 Annotation Offers couples and singles all the information they need to navigate the complicated and emotional territory facing those who wish to become families using adoption or assisted reproduction.
  the emotional toll of adoption in america: Building a Better America United States. President (1989-1993 : Bush), 1989